Lately, I’ve been caught up in a few personal projects that, looking back, I probably could have spent less time on. It got me thinking—if I could step outside myself and see things from a different angle, what would I say? So, I let my alter ego talk to me. The conversation is still unfolding, but it’s already starting to change how I approach things.
Hey Ranga,
It's me, your inner voice—the one you sometimes ignore. I get it; you want to be helpful, supportive, and available for those voluntary projects. It feels good to contribute, to be part of something bigger. But here’s the thing: you can’t be everywhere, doing everything, all the time. Not without burning yourself out or neglecting your own goals. So, let me talk to you about learning how to say “no” without the guilt.
1. Prioritize your purpose
You must have heard this a million times. Every time you say “yes” to something, you’re saying “no” to something else. Remember, you only have so much time, energy, and focus. Start by asking yourself: Does this project align with my personal or professional priorities? If the answer is no, then there’s your first clue.
I know you're thinking, "But it's a good cause!" Sure, it might be, but the real question is, does it contribute to the goals that matter most to you right now? If not, that's a clear, respectful “no.”
2. Recognize the impact of overcommitting
Think about the last time you took on more than you could handle. Remember that stress? The feeling of being spread too thin? Saying yes to too many things doesn’t just hurt you—it impacts the quality of the work you contribute. Your energy is finite, and if you want to show up fully where it counts, you have to let go of the rest.
I, as your alter ego is saying, “By saying no, you’re actually making space for the things that truly deserve your attention.”
3. Set Boundaries Early and Clearly
People respect boundaries when they’re communicated well. Practice saying no in a way that feels right for you. You could say, “I’d love to help, but I have other commitments right now.” Or, “This sounds like a great project, but I’m focusing on my own priorities at the moment.”
Here’s a trick I’ve learned: The more straightforward you are, the less people push back. No need for long explanations or excuses—just clear, honest boundaries.
4. Understand your value isn’t measured by how many times you say Yes
You’ve always wanted to help others, but remember this: You’re not defined by how many tasks or projects you can juggle. Your value comes from the depth of the work you choose to do, not the volume of it. It is better to give 100% to a few things than 50% to everything.
Saying no doesn’t mean you’re letting people down—it means you’re focusing on where you can make the biggest impact. And guess what? That’s not just good for you; it’s good for everyone involved.
5. Practice saying No with kindness
This is key. Saying no doesn’t mean being harsh or cold. A respectful “no” often involves acknowledging the person’s request while being clear about your own limits. You can still show support by suggesting someone else who might be a better fit or by offering a smaller contribution.
A note especially for you, Ranga, “Saying no with kindness builds respect. It shows that you know your limits, and people will appreciate your honesty.”
6. Remember: every “No” creates space for a bigger “Yes”
By learning to say no to the things that don’t align with your priorities, you’re opening up room for the things that matter more. Imagine the energy you’ll have when you’re no longer pulled in a million directions. That’s energy you can put into your career, your personal growth, or those few projects you’re truly passionate about.
So next time, pause. Breathe. And listen to me, your alter ego. Saying no doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you smart.
You’ve got this. Trust yourself to know when to say “no” so that when the time comes, you can give a resounding “yes” to the opportunities that matter most.
Until next time,
Your Alter Ego
Well expressed by your inner voice/alter ego, Ranga!
You ever feel that your current self gets into explaining or justifying mode to the inner self? How do I handle that?