Building resilience through challenges
(Trilogy Part 2: Focus, resilience, and slowing Down)
This article is the second part of my personal trilogy—an exploration of how I reclaimed focus, built resilience, and ultimately learned that sometimes, slowing down is the key to real progress. If Part 1 was about regaining focus, this one is about staying strong when life throws obstacles my way—because focus is easy when things are going smoothly, but what about when they are not?
Resilience is not about powering through every challenge without struggle. It is about adapting, recovering, and showing up even when things do not go as planned. And for me, resilience was not something I was born with—it was something I had to build, one setback at a time.
Recognizing the problem: when challenges felt overwhelming
A few years ago, I thought resilience meant being tough—pushing through setbacks without slowing down, without letting them affect me. But I was wrong. There were times when things did not go my way, when I faced failures, unexpected detours, and moments of doubt. And instead of processing them, I convinced myself that “powering through” was the answer.
But I learned the hard way that ignoring challenges does not make them go away. It just delays their impact. At some point, the exhaustion of constantly "pushing through" caught up with me, and I realized something had to change.
I was not just dealing with challenges—I was letting them define how I felt about my own progress. And I knew I could not keep operating that way. I had to rethink what resilience actually meant.
For me, the real obstacles were not just external challenges. They were internal struggles, like:
Letting setbacks feel permanent – Every failure felt like it defined me, rather than being just a temporary hurdle.
Burning out in the name of persistence – I thought working harder was the solution, but it often left me drained instead of productive.
Avoiding rest and recovery – I saw slowing down as a weakness, when in reality, it was a necessary part of bouncing back.
Not asking for help – I felt like I had to figure things out alone, when resilience is often about knowing when to lean on others.
Once I saw these patterns, I knew I needed to make some changes—not through some grand reinvention, but by making small shifts in how I approached challenges.
The resilience reset: what helped me build mental strength
I did not wake up one day and suddenly become more resilient. It took effort, reflection, and a lot of trial and error. Here is what helped me strengthen my ability to bounce back:
Reframing setbacks as lessons – Instead of seeing failures as proof that I was not good enough, I started looking for what they could teach me.
Focusing on what I could control – I stopped wasting energy on things outside my control and started channeling it into things I could actually change.
Allowing myself to rest without guilt – I realized that resilience is not just about effort—it is also about knowing when to recover.
Developing a growth mindset – Challenges became opportunities to improve, rather than reasons to feel discouraged.
Building a strong support system – I learned that resilience does not mean doing everything alone; it means knowing when to ask for help.
These were not instant fixes. They were gradual shifts that helped me stop seeing challenges as roadblocks and start viewing them as stepping stones.
What changed and what was still hard
After making these changes, I noticed a shift—not just in how I handled challenges, but in how I felt about them.
What improved:
Less fear of failure – Setbacks no longer feel like the end of the road anymore.
More sustainable effort – I could push forward without running myself into the ground.
Better emotional balance – Challenges do not throw me off track as easily.
What remained difficult:
Breaking old habits – I still had moments where I defaulted to my old ways of handling stress.
Letting go of control – It was hard to accept that some things were simply outside my influence.
Giving myself permission to slow down – I had to remind myself that resilience was not about endless effort, but about smart recovery.
Resilience is not about never struggling—it is about coming back stronger
I used to think resilience was about toughness. Now, I know it is about adaptability. It is not about avoiding struggles—it is about responding to them in a way that keeps me moving forward, without losing myself in the process.
This is just the second step in a bigger journey. Next up, I will be exploring something even more counterintuitive—why slowing down can sometimes be the key to real progress. Because resilience helps us stay strong, but what if the real breakthrough comes when we stop pushing so hard? That is what I will be going into next.